MixtureOfHerLife

Emotions:

I feel like I am falling apart.

 But yet what is there to worry about? What is there to be sad about?

I'm lonely and I really want to be with him, All the prayers lead me to him and I don;t know if I want to act on it. 

He's everything in the standards that I would like to have in a potential spouse,

I'm annoyed at the fact that they're so lovely dovey and it makes me feel unwell.
There is some much going on and I can't seem to find myself.
I think I'm going to be sick, who am I?
Oh God, I'm finally eighteen and I don't know who I am.
My job is fine, but I am now compromised.
It made me feel something beyond the norm.
What happened in the past year in and a half that caused me to be so different?
A feeling so odd it sends signals all over my body and I'm bounded by numbness.
I don't want to feel numb anymore, but I don't want to feel the pain that hovers over my existence.
It lingers in my aura and it causes my cover to be blown.
For some reason I just want to feel that there is something burning in a man's heart for me.
Maybe a miniature flame and my words are the fuel.
But his heart is broken, he is off in his "funk."
Let me be a conqueror queen.
Breaking down the walls of the insecurities.
But this isn't important.
Contradiction is all over the place.
When he is ready, will I be?