Mental Health: Day Seven

9:06am: I decided to take my medication this morning and now I feel great.
We have a guest speaker today and he is very interesting.
"Relaxed attention."
Trust me I am very relaxed and very attentive.
I'm not refilling my prescription next time.
I really don't think I need it.
It kind of makes me eat a lot when I don't want to.
I kind of want to fast until tonight when I get some free food from work.
The class appears full and it's more unnerving than anything else.
My mother told me I didn't have to go to school today.
She just didn't want to pick me up from school.
Tough Beans.
"Meditation called Coming Back."
This is weird, considering I have been thinking about this title for a long time.
Maybe to have a religious perspective, we have to be involved in meditation.
I see why I don't meditate, I don't want to think about my body unless I'm in meditation.
Even then I don't want to feel it, it aches on the inside.
I felt my body wave with my heartbeat.
We did this meditation where you have a partner and we ask for three minutes, "Who are you?"
You say the first thing that comes to mind.
I said a lot of sensitive things, but in a sense, I said what I feel.
Conflicted.
Angry.
Confused.
Devastated.
Mildly insane.
Sensitive.
Achey.
Concerned.
Don't care.
Liver.
Hungry.
Coffee.
Unsure.
Damaged.
Me.
Procrastination.
Mixed.


"Being here meditation."
Sit still, listeing to our breath, opening and feeling the thoughts through our sky like mind.
Resting.

I didn't really get into it because I can't seem to narrow down my thoughts.
It's like stretching out play dough.