In the midst of the night I lay before the tree that shows no life, leaves surround me in a circle. The moon is screaming it’s brightness at me. I close my eyes tight. Only a dream, only a dream. Warm liquid dripping down my cheeks down to my neck. I can’t move, my arms are out wide and my body is flat on the cold prickly ground. I turn my head to the side and the dips of warmth run down the side of my face. As I open my eyes I can’t help to feel the pressure on my chest. Heavy like a pile of bricks stacked one by one. I start to hyperventilate because I can’t scream. But to able to breathe, an unforeseen blessing that was given from a higher entity.
I move my fingers on my right hand and a rush of pain runs through my arm. I scream and this time I can hear it. The pitch echoed as if I was in an enclosed room. I close my eyes once more and move my body upward, shockingly without the excruciating pain. My heart raced but I’m barely breathing. I don’t dare to open my eyes to see what holds before me. I can’t move I am frozen in a sitting position, but I can move my arms. I open my eyes and look down immediately. I rub my cheek to examine the liquid which dripped upon my pale skin. Vibrant red stared back at me. Blood. I look up slowly but to see feet with the same red running down the legs of the dead. I screamed until my lungs burned, the echoing hurt my ears, the high pitch is too much. I see the blank face of the women I once knew, who raised me, who birthed me. The scratchy rope that wrapped itself lovingly around her neck. Lines of where a blade had cut on the sides of her hips, and down her wrists.
“Mom, no!” I screamed blatantly. I know she couldn't hear me. I knew this wasn’t real. I held my arms around my body putting my hand down, tears are rolling down my face. “It’s not your fault.” I looked up and all she did was, well all it did was sway from side to side like the wind caught its weightless body. I believe after someone died that they’re no longer named as an existence. Not a “she” or “he”, just an “it”. No heartbeat means no name.
I laid my head into my hands, then I hear a loud thump. I look up again, and the body had fallen. As if the rope was too weak to hold the weight. It laid on its side and didn’t move. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. I lifted my legs and placed my head on my knees I can’t stand to see this anymore. Then all of a sudden I hear a groan, I slowly lifted my head. I saw the body was moving. I gasped and laid both of my hands on the ground, my eyes couldn’t be any bigger. The body groaned louder this time and rolled up onto its knees. I try to back up, but before I do the body has already thrown itself on top me. I leave my hands up to keep it away from my face and as far as possible. It suddenly screamed right into my face something I never needed to hear. “It’s all your fault!”
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