Welcoming

Be here dear, summer is coming.
Nature to see, but toxic to breathe.
Unfortunately.
I wish the stars would round more.
For the moon makes me smile more.
Take me back to the days.
Try not to overthink.
The ones where the skies were beautiful in the day.
Smiling, jumping.
Bring peace again.
For the days feel so slow.
I welcome the joy and warmth.
Art I the one shalt not weary away?

sleeping on the edge

Walking round trying to breath, but the air isn't even breathing
Tell me where you been, sitting on that side street
Smoke between your lips, I see your secrets
Don't have to speak, I can burn your words
So, you see what you do to me
Smell covered smoke, trying to prove to me
That you can find in the shade
Covering from the light
Sleeping on the edge
Where my feet dangle and I can't help the times
Burn everything to the ground and I still wouldn't feel it
You got me intoxicated on the way you speak

This day

The day meets the end.
But tomorrow is another beginning.
Letters for you, for I can't seem to speak.
Matched again with demons again.
Trust me, help is there.
I can't understand the road.
Where I go.
But, you know, life goes the way it will.
Aspiring to be more than I think.
Goals and dreams I seek.
For the body I carry.
It seems to deplete slowly.
I pray I stand before centuries.
Trying to find peace in my loud mind.
Talk and talk to me.
This day will be remembered. 

All the time lost

Arguing and silence.
Endless wars in our head,
don't seem to end.
Hate those days.
War inside heads.
Beginning and end,
forever friend.
Standing there by the creek,
we looked.
Moments treasured.
Understand this world is no great land,
Messier in numbers by the day.
The end is not near.
For here we sit,
hot by the rock bed.
Sunbeam, on my black pants.
Still never forget.

Day Day Day

I am so incredibly tired of being treated like a doormat every single day. I literally cannot stand being the person people walk away from like nothing. When the reason I act the way I do is because of how I am being treated. You treat me well, I work at my best. You treat me like I am just a piece of trash on the floor, my mental health deteriorates and the best becomes less than the best. Because my brain can only take so much before it is tired. I generally need a break from everyone including the people I love. They are driving me insane to the point where the norm, is no longer the norm. I am becoming more sick in the head day by day. Trying to clean up my act and getting literally no help. The same people who act like they want to be there and be your friend are the same people that will literally watch you fall when they stomp you down. Do you not care at all? Do you not care that you make me want to end everything because of your selfishness?
Gonna lose friends.

Free

Tell me again and again how you don't know what you what to do.

But I am sitting here trying to figure out how to go on. 

I want to go somewhere away from here, but how?

Get rid of all the distractions.
Push these problems aside and find the reality that sits inside.
But more or less it will control to portray something we are.
Something we have been set on in these times.
I can't see my future without your love.
You know now and the truth and trust will set us free.
I want to see the light in us both.
I don't want to continue to bleed.
I want to love you freely.

Feeling again and again

In the unknown, I wander through the unimaginable. Feeling the poison coursing through my veins, like needles stabbing in the skin.  Forcing the unbelievable thoughts into an unseen jar inside my mind. Waiting so eagerly to shatter and send me into mental anguish. Immense and ever so cold adaptions that could be ignored. Every day can seem so bright, but the light only drowns out only so much of the ugly that roams. That continues to run through the mouths and noses of those who are unfortunate. Something that once so amazing and filled with joy could turn so dark once again in history. 

Needless to say that most of what we see now, is just cover for something far more deadly and dangerous, then anyone could ever imagine.

But again, to me. I feel like something inside is wrong and there is nothing I can do. But wallow in myself and keep on poisoning. Moment by moment running through my veins. My brain to shortly not understand. Trying to stay sharp, but at this time in the world. That's not as easy to come by.  I want to survive to see more in this life. Something is coursing and it's not normal. Everyone has become acting differently than they usually do. I am in hell, dealing with the constant thought of feeling like a burden for everyone I met. I just want to feel normal again.